Strength for the Journey

Relying on God in our strange trip with Mitochondrial Disease

I’m no hero

It happened again recently.  Someone told me they were proud of me because of the way we treat Erin.

It makes me wonder: how do people expect us to treat her?

Lock her in a closet?

Smack her around?

Send her away and pretend she died like the Memory Keeper’s Daughter?

I know people mean well.  I realize they’re trying to encourage me.  It just strikes me as kind of funny.  Because I know who I am.

And I’m no hero.

I lose my temper.  I snap at my husband.  I let my house get that ‘lived in’ look.

But I love my family.  I love my God and I do my best to do right by Him.

When we first began to see that something was different about Erin, we were scared.  We hoped she would grow out of it.  Then we each went on our own journey of coming to an acceptance of who she is.  Periods of time when I told God there had been some mistake, that I couldn’t handle this.  Times when I didn’t want to be Erin’s mother, didn’t want to have to deal with therapies and multiple doctor visits.  The day a therapist first suggested a wheelchair, I felt like I’d been sucker punched.  Erin would look ‘different’.  People would know she was disabled. *sigh* As if that weren’t already apparent.

Then somewhere along the way, she stopped being my ‘disabled daughter’ and just became Erin.  She is who she is.

God has taught me a lot along the way.  I know he has plenty more to teach me.  I know He’s still working on me 🙂

This became  a song that I sing to her.  I wish I could have found an acapella version, but this was the best I could do:

 

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6 thoughts on “I’m no hero

  1. Jill Trzynka on said:

    Dawn I love reading your posts. I am moving to Wisc. and if you ever need someone to talk to that ‘is walking in your shoes’, let me know. The gal I told you about lives up there. Keep blogging and I’ll keep reading. Blessings to your family. Jill

  2. Sarahbeth on said:

    :’-)

  3. “Smack her around” made me laugh. People are so weird sometimes, aren’t they? When people say they look up to me or whatever, I just think “What was I supposed to do?” It’s crazy.

  4. I know exactly how you feel! People have asked me “How do you deal with it?” I have to answer, “I love my son! I wouldn’t want him any other way!” ❤

  5. By the way, what was the song that you put on here? It didn’t come up for me.

  6. Jen, the song is “He’s Still Working on me”

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